What is domestic violence?
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Domestic violence is a significant problem in Tower Hamlets,
with the police dealing with an average of 11 incidents every
day.
Tower Hamlets council is committed to working in partnership
with statutory and community organisations to prevent domestic
violence and reduce the harm it causes to individuals, families and
the community as a whole.
Domestic violence is any incident of threatening behaviour,
violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or
emotional) between adults who are, or who have been, intimate
partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
This definition includes violence such as female genital
mutilation (FGM) so-called ‘honour’ crimes, forced marriage, and
acts of gender-based violence.
Domestic violence happens across all communities, faiths and
cultures. Most often, domestic violence is committed by men against
women, but it also happens in gay, lesbian bisexual and transgender
relationships. Sometimes women abuse men. Sometimes other family
members may be involved.
As many as one in four women, and one in six men experience some
form of domestic violence at some point in their lives.
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Is this about you?
- Does your partner or a close family member hit you or push you
around?
- Do they threaten to hurt you, your children, your friends,
family or pets, or even themselves?
- Do they put you down and make you feel bad about yourself?
- Are they jealous and possessive?
- Do they control all the money?
- Do they stop you from studying or taking a paid job?
- Do they humiliate or degrade you?
- Do their moods rule your home and your life?
- Do they hurt you sexually, or force you to do things you don’t
enjoy?
- Does their family also abuse you, or back them up?
- Are you often anxious, afraid, depressed, confused?
- Is what’s happening to you affecting your children?
- Have your friends, relatives or colleagues expressed concern
about you or what is happening to you?
- Is it getting worse?
It can be hard to admit, even to yourself, that you are a victim
of domestic violence. But this is the first step to getting help
and getting safe.
No one has the right to abuse you. You and your children have a
right to be safe.
Ignoring violence is dangerous. Violence rarely happens only
once. In fact it is more usual for the violence to become more
serious the longer it carries on.
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How you may be feeling
- You may feel that you are in some way to blame, that if you
change the abuse will stop.
- You may feel that it is your problem and you have to solve it
all by yourself.
- You may feel embarrassed or ashamed that this is happening to
you.
- You may fear that things will get worse if you try to challenge
the abuse.
- You may fear family or community disapproval or rejection if
you take action to protect yourself.
- You may love the person who abuses you and want your
relationship to work.
- You may keep hoping that things will change. The abuser may
promise that they will change.
The fact is, unless a person takes full responsibility for their
abusive actions and gets specialist help, chances are they will not
change. There are some specialist services in London that can help
people who are abusive to their partners.
Further information
Find out what you can
do.
Get details of council support services and other support
organisations on contacts page.
External links