Council launches segway swap scheme in bid to save the planet

Segway banter

Update: Thanks for being good sports and taking part in this little April Fool's prank. Of course we all know that air quality is nothing to joke about and we're committed to doing all we can to make an impact. Keep an eye on our Breathe Clean page and on the news section of this site to find out about all the latest developments.

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The council is set to make history as it launches an innovative new scheme to improve air quality and reduce congestion across Tower Hamlets. 

From 10 April, residents of the borough will be able to exchange their motor vehicles for a sleek and environmentally friendly segway. 

Segways, most commonly associated with American tourists zooming around far-away destinations, are rumoured to be the next big thing in the world of personal transport.

Their arrival follows the similar success of the roller blade, the scooter and those strange shoes with wheels that got banned from Bluewater Shopping Centre. 

Leading the way in this new approach to tackling air quality, councillors will now attend all official business on segways. The speaker's segway will be fitted with particularly blingy ceremonial flashing handlebars. 

Professor Frederik Von Freewheelinzer, a renowned expert in sustainable transport, said: 

"I am delighted that Tower Hamlets has become the first council in Europe to encourage its residents to leave their cars at home and take their lives into their own hands by using these oddly formed machines on the busy roads of central London.

"I wish them luck. They're going to need it."

Residents can sign up to swap their car for a segway by completing this simple form.  

Posted on Sunday 31st March 2019